compass.

when i emerge alone
from the underneath,
sparkling valiantly
with the dust of
brilliance
about me,
i will be good enough.
and when i make unwhole
this life,
plucking from it
the gift of flight,
the wings,
i will be named destruction.

if you forget it all,
i will carry the blame on my shoulders.
a nomad, i am.
bearing arms.
bearing shards
of the shattered mirrors
i've crafted.
and i know, the only compass i need
is the one
that leads to the edge of my world.
i will jump,
a leap of faith,
into the abyss.
and i will fall,
so fast,
into nothing.
into everything.

when i get sent back
to the start,
whether it's my imagination
or it's real,
i feel like i'm being pulled from
the stars.
i feel like where i'm meant to be
is the one place i don't belong.
i'll be damned, though, if i don't make it.
i'll take that leap,
the jump,
the end,
a million times over before i give up.
a million and one more, for good measure.
each time, closing my eyes to see.
each time, crossing my fingers for luck.
each time, whispering the same secret.

i wish i could be a ghost.
i wish i could haunt you.
i wish that i could simply
float away.
oh, how i'd wander this earth.
the things i could see when
no one
could see me.
can you see me?

and when i collide with the barrier,
in dead space,
where the angels form their walls,
i shall make them unwhole,
plucking from them the gift of flight,
their wings.
as they fall,
they shall name me destruction.
but when i emerge alone
from the underneath,
sparkling valiantly
with the dust of
brilliance
about me,
i will be good enough.

we are not the same.