colder weather.

i told you, baby.
i've hidden the beating
thing beneath the
floorboards.
to be who you are,
you have to be what you are.
i'm going to live
my whole life
in the night.


i'll wait until you listen,
i won't say a word.
speak for days,
and hours,
and years.
speak until
we become dust
in the wind.
the weight of
my thoughts were
too much for me
to carry alone,
and where were you?
you were discussing
the wings
of a butterfly,
and your thoughts
on a diamond's worth.

so we talk forever,
and you've said the
words backwards and front,
and back again.
they were never yours,
but what is it changing?
will it change anything?
can it possibly
stop me from walking
away?

i can list 1,001
ways to kill a person.
is it time for another
mark on the wall,
or am i just going
to forget it all.
victim. victim.
who are you?
your time has come.
am i through?



all i've asked is
a galaxy.
maybe that's too much.
i just needed to know
that it was something
you would miss,
and you set fire
to it the moment i turned
my back.

we are (obviously) not the same.

somewhere out there.

take some time,
and see the world
as i've asked you to.
it's never going to
be that simple,
and i can't spell it
out for you.
i'm somewhere in
outer space,
and i'm home.
you can only
belong in one
place at a time,
and i'm not in
a place to live
inside your arms.

i don't remember
all these piano keys,
it's not the same.

i'm looking for my chance
to dance along the
light of day.
i'm looking for myself
out here,
and i'm praying
to no one in particular
that once i'm back
in the atmosphere,
i'll still remember
my alphabet.
that i can count
from Z to A.
that i can still
open my eyes
and feel the
warmth of the
sun.

when i fall back
to earth,
bring me to the
horizon.
and maybe the
horizon won't
see me the same,
or maybe i'll
fall with a million
drops of rain.
but away from
myself,
could you please
make sure it's
still there?
shining just as bright
as i recall it.
i just need to know
that tomorrow the
sun will rise without me
there to watch its
beauty.
amen.

so i'll cross my fingers
and jump from
star to star.
i really haven't
planned to go that far.
i'm really not sure
where this path may go,
and i'm not sure that i'll
ever know.
just don't let me find
the lights are faded.
don't let me find the
torn edge of the universe
blowing in the wind.


i need to know that there
is so much more,
so i can drift back
down and know what
i'm reaching for.

we are not the same.

pretty little liar.

the night you knew
our lives would never
be the same,
the sun grew weary
of circling all my
hard-earned
skyscrapers.
i used to wear
my crown,
the king of the moon.
one by one,
the walls fall down,
in this, my dying room.
fate has stepped in,
my patience has stepped out.
i've counted your worth,
i can't help but doubt
these four walls again.

in a place where a
simple question
requires impossibilities
to explain,
we were born again.
tell me, the sun,
what are you here for?
you tell the world to close
their eyes, but ask so
readily for me to
keep mine open.
wide open, and never.
it's difficult, letting you down.
knowing it's all my fault
you're not around.

i've dug my hole
deep enough
without having
to shout praises
at you.
about you.
for you.

maybe you're watching
the wrong criminal;
looking for the wrong
crime.


in the silence,
i hear your beating heart
and wonder what it
beats for,
what excites the bugs
in your stomach,
and what fallacies
keep you awake at night.
if you doubt that i'll be there,
don't you dare.
the worm becomes a
butterfly,
but the worm is
born again.
i need a break
from stern discussion
and involuntary sin.



it didn't take long
for me to lose the trust.
these four walls were not strong enough.


the words, so radical,
and not what i meant.
we are not the same.

protagonist/antagonist.

i'm thinking it's time to
turn this around.
you caught me off guard,
and the sun is getting
tired of chasing the moon.
i won't lie,
you caught me off guard.
it has never hurt so bad
to be so wrong.
this hour of life is not
where i belong.
sin, count 7.
smile, count 23.
who is me?
i'll set you free.

if you ever get the choice,
recover.
find yourself floating in the ocean,
i've left you there to die.
you were everything to me,
nothing but a lover.
hello, again,
it's time for goodbye.
a day without you
is like a year without rain.
eyelashes, canvas,
paint me your pain.
her flowing gown spoke to me,
stories of letting you go.
behind the lion's eyes,
but you'll never know.

a crossroads of 4.
in dreams, called the whore.
can't you hear me calling?
the ocean is running dry,
and you continue to swim north.
how can i speak your name
without a voice of my own?
i've lost my castle,
misplaced my throne.
i refuse to say yes or no.
i refuse forever to let you go.
decisions, count 4 again.
in fact,
chalk that down
as another sin.

i've done enough,
ruined the fun.
walk away, josh,
you know you're done.
blank stare,
but you're still there.
playing this game,
never playing fair.

we are not the same.