i guess it's safe to say
that you've made up your mind.
even so, i still need to speak mine.
you won't give me the time,
but i still need to speak mine.
i'm not ready, you know?
not ready to back down, walk away.
to learn to live without this.
without you.
not ready to accept
what you think you know.
every day, i have cried.
i think about you,
about us,
i see something,
feel something,
try to sleep,
let my mind wander,
breathe,
make plans,
try to stay busy,
tell myself not to cry,
and i cry.
every day.
i'm struggling with this,
but here it goes.
i just want you to know who i am.
you may think that this is best.
you may think that i deserved
all the names you called me,
and the way you treated me.
you may think that you don't feel the same anymore.
i'm not so naive.
i know that you still remember the good,
and that there is still some part in your heart for me.
you told me once that you were home
whenever you were with me,
and i hope that you still feel that way.
i hope that behind your eyes
those bees are still making honey,
just for me.
i tell myself that i'll always be your "lil' poppa,"
and maybe we'll work it out again later.
i resent the idea of you with someone else.
mostly, i pray to a god that i don't believe in
that you don't forget who i am,
or who i was to you.
i'd give my world just to see you,
i'd lie, cheat, and steal to make amends,
and i'd kill to go back to the beginning
and make it how it should have been.
i just want you to know who i am.
and there will never be a day
that i don't hear your voice,
see your smile,
and remember your skin.
some part of you belongs to me now,
and i'll never let it go.
i may not be able to keep you,
but i'll never let it go.
i think some would say that
i'm not very good backing down.
they'd probably say i'm crazy, too.
they'd probably pity me for not
being able to move on after
all that's happened.
the truth is, they could never understand.
and to be honest,
if this is all i get,
i'm happy just to have known you.
i've seen all the good you are, dear.
i've witnessed the glow,
and lived in your light.
i know that you'll find happiness
somewhere.
i just pray that you don't forget me along the way.
i may not be able to keep you,
but you're still my best friend.
i guess what i'm trying to say
is i'm still madly in love with you,
and that will never change.
i'm on my way to wherever i'm meant to be,
but even there, i'll love you all the same.
you're the most amazing person i know.
you showed me what it meant to love,
and you showed me so many things.
you're my best friend, in every possible way.
this is who i am now,
and i just want you to know who i am.
i love you to pluto and back, but
we are not the same.
