virtues and the virus.

this whole time i've been preaching
about how the stars,
each single one,
smiles just for you.
about how somewhere
along this road,
the center of gravity
has shifted from
the sun to your heart.
i've come to find
different in my travels
across your mind.
only to find,
let us begin.

i'd love to heal your wounds,
i'd love to love you forever.
i will never be able,
so i will break away.
i never thought this
world was real,
yet here we are.
a wonderland of sorts,
and i am alice.
i'm looking for a sign,
a sign of what i've done.
break away from streetlamps,
and have a little fun.
in this farewell, there's no alibi.
regret from truth, and a thousand lies.
i'm letting myself go,
let us begin.

somewhere in this wilderness,
the monsters live.
let us sail away, and stay here forever.
follow the stars east,
and fall back south.
all of the beauty
you keep in your mouth.
i stare up at the sky,
and the smoke runs free.
i'll never see what
you see in me.
it's so cold, but you know
we belong here.
shout to the sky, wonder.
tell it our names.
you get so quiet for me sometimes.
you get so wild and fire.
i see your face in the fire.
you dance like the fire.
you burn me like the fire.
i'll continue to dance,
and heaven can wait.
how do you ever hope
to enjoy this life
if you spend your nights
sleeping soundly?
bring me my crown,
and bring me your horizons.
bring me your eyes,
let us begin.



i've yet to see you walk ahead,
as if the monsters could catch us.
sometimes i want to be you,
and sometimes i don't want to be king.
sometimes i don't want another fight.

we are destruction, but from the darkness
there is light.

here come the monsters,
here is your gun.
we breathe heavy together,
we are done.

we are not the same.

true love.

build me up.
build me up, tall and strong.
set me on the pedestal,
and anchor me down.
let me scrape the sky,
and bring me the sun.
i'll make peace on your horizon.
i'll give you grace and strength.
a new place for you to breathe.
make me unlike anything you've ever seen before.
i'm nothing like what you've seen before.
i am a king among workers;
a god among men.
i opened my eyes,
and you've opened your heart.

give me windows, let in the light.
give me colors, let in the life.

i never asked anything before,
and how could i?
inanimate, and beautiful.
please, make me beautiful.
the floorplan is mapped.
materials, chosen.
workers present,
construction begins.
allow me to be your realized dream.
a manifestation of impossible proportions.
each room, an angle and aspect
of my character.
each piece of furniture, a feature.
a paradox, but breathtaking.
god, you're breathtaking.

make me a record, for everyone to know.
up-do and out-sell the world.
i want to be everything you want.
i want to be your everything.


so build me up, tall and strong.
right up there where i belong.
and when construction is done, finish me.
fill every room with dynamite,
walk away from me, trigger in hand,
and...


we are not the same.

in the dirt.

i'm lacking in iron, and i'm lacking in love.
but i'm not so silly that i believe
all of this will ever change.
i picked the cover for myself.
i though it fit in well.
prove to me now, you are mythical.
prove to me now, you are cynical.
i've come to despise that look in your eyes.
another language, they speak,
but i know exactly what you say.
with all these motives i can't defend.
i'll take you out, if you bring me in.
cast me out, run far away.
i watched the colors, from white to red.
a new shade of hate with each word you said.
you're hardly a step away.

keep me, keep me.
k e p t m e.
and here you live.
to begin again, or to watch the flames.
i never learned the other names.
you know so much, but you talk so slow.
did you understand when i let you go?
i keep you here, locked away, on this shelf.
a silly toy, not meant for a boy.
counting constellations, you are living.
i've built you this boat, and the monsters are yours.
can you see them on other shores?
you, just a step away.

i've been wondering now,
the gauges of your secrets.
in the dark, you're never done.
in the dark, you are the sun.
back and forth, you roll.
the evening stars smile,
and they only smile for you.
how do you do those things you do?
as much as i ask, keep your world from me.
a plague, and destruct.
a heartstring, and explode.
all of the horrid acts,
and you'll never know.
bring me the horizon, but not yours,
because it's yours, and i'm not.
if i could be yours, but i'm not.
shirts and skins, you always win.
you are so much more than a step for me.



set me free.

we are not the same.

the regulations.

"inside that box," you told me.
it's time to seize the day.
your eyes are jewels, keep them closed.
lift your feet right off the ground.
you've been stuck in that same position,
a statue with a silly face.
you've opened my eyes,
but your mind stays shut.
"towers," you said.
i'm trying to be patient,
watching you slip away.
i'm here to help you
notice the rainbow.
show me the smile you've kept inside,
and where did the rain go?

an old soul, a fresh face.
all of the things i see in you,
i don't see out there.
i'm waiting for you to see them, too.
"just take it," you whispered.
i never thought about reaching the top,
before you showed me the bottom.
you're so young, but my, the aging you've done.
you saw right through every word i said.
you murdered me,
you've set me free.
this game you play for hours,
this life you've yet to live.
i gave you gifts of gold and myrrh.
give me just another word.
all of the things i'll never know,
tell me, where did the rain go?

so, at the end, keep your fingers crossed.
i won't be here much longer,
you can't just come find me here.
you know, i died when they told me.
how am i going to walk ahead
with your voice painting such beautiful pictures?
pictures is all they will ever be.
"change your mind, like i never will," you promised.
all of those silly falsehoods, and you promised.
there is a whole world around you,
and the same goes for me.
i don't want to wait around,
and force you to smile,
but i continue to wait.
wait outside the lines.
you gave me love when
i asked for destruction.
you brought me the sun when
i asked for snow.
i'm begging you now,
where ever did the rain go?


rest assured, i won't ask again.
left over, with nothing to show.
i can tell you, now, where,
exactly, the rain did go.

we are not the same.

instincts.

could it be, i'm the only one?
bring me the hero of your story,
and bring me your gun.
i'll hold it forever,
and you become the air.
fickle and strong,
like you're always there.
the sea, your titan.
the sun, you friend.
i told you the beginning,
but this is the end.
i don't care, i wouldn't dare
to fix the twist in you.
you've been here forever,
but i can see right through.
it's all the same.

you told me to hold on,
and i let go.
every day, i look back and know,
all i can do, is breath you in
while i can.
you have become all i am.
i'm happy, you know.
that tiny seed grew.
i told you i'd smile,
and that's what i'll do.
i wouldn't look at me,
if i could see you.
it's all the same.

i wanted more than compromise,
i wanted to see it in your eyes.
i wanted your word that you were proud,
i've lived these days, living in doubt.
now take me away from all i've known,
give me a chance to show i've grown.
i've been around the world over again,
and now i'm looking for another sin.

so maybe i'm a dreamer;
misunderstood and crazy.
flying by,  and it's getting hazy.
i've never walked alone,
and i've been looking to try.
reaching for something more,
and i almost touch the sky.
i wonder if you watch,
i wonder if you see.
i'm trying to become
what you want me to be.
another breath, and i'm done.
another day under the texas sun.
tell me again, what you saw in may.
tomorrow is more than just another day.
it's all the same.

we are not the same.

run forever.

to and for, b.m.r.
attribute, you.
fake,
and plastic,
and beautiful.
i'm a pretty face,
and that's about as deep as it goes.
this is my gravity,
and i'm handing it to you
on a silver platter.

you are ignorant,
so why aren't you blissful?

i've made my bed,
i know what comes next.
i've got this, little lion man.
stop telling me what you think i should do.
stop telling me what you think.
better yet, stop thinking.
leave my kingdom,
leave my throne.

the moon goes racing by,
and you can run forever.
empty pockets, learn to fly.
they'll catch you now or never.



 i've moved past perfect teeth.
i've moved past the other team.
what makes you think pop culture
would take hold of me?
you won't, for the record.
if only i had a heart.
i don't, for the record.

so, i'll spend my days up in the north hall.
picking petals, and counting your eyelashes.
sailing across the seas in my head,
the ships magnificent.
to've seen, a cataclysm.
pretty little disasters.
aren't i a pretty little disaster?


the clouds have had their say,
and i'll make a bet that we don't
leave this place as friends.
are you comfortable?
you're going to hate me for this.

i'm taking over your shores,
just like the island before.
smothering you, so beg for mercy.
you will catch the work and the blame,
but no one will remember your ugly name.
you're gone, and i am king.
i never wanted your ugly love.
i was always more interested in
you dreams, your nightmares.
i never cared to ask you back.

we are not the same.

dictionary.

keep your foot off
the gas pedal.
you're pushing me
away much too fast.
you take away what
you dream of,
and you go in for the kill.
nature won't stop you,
and the gods never will.
oh, these lights are shining
brighter than i remember.
you shine so brightly, beast.
and in a world when no one
ever talks about deals with
angels, you've made your bed.

how contently you live,
you came here to live.
on the wings of icarus,
you allowed me in.
faith, my friend,
will be your end.
and in the end,
what wonderful words you spoke.
if only they meant something,
those mindless babbles.
if only you ever meant anything.
you see, the equation was wrong
from the beginning.
you left out the pivotal variable.
you forgot that plastic,
easily burned,
is deficient and beautiful.
shiny and immune.
i always have been,
and i can't transition.
it feels so real, doesn't it?
with circumstances as flimsy
as the paper you've written them on,
the blue fairy is dead.

i keep a world behind
brick walls.
i've brought you here,
just to send you away.
these brick walls are where
i can be found,
dancing just beyond their
sanctuaries.
humming melodies of
everything fake and wonderful
inside those bricks.
in the hollow of your hearts,
you keep lead bullets.
i've brought you here,
just to send you away.
i'm in love with you,
but with fingers crossed,
i hope you never know.
take what's yours,
and i'll take mine.
this broken life
is all i ever want to know.
i'm in love with you,
but i hope i never say it to your face.
when the lights go off,
the moon will fade,
and the stars will tell us stories.


bring her your cardboard dreams,
and see her frozen.
i've been here all along,
dreaming with eyes wide open.

we are not the same.